Ansel's Excuses....

Last night, on the way home from the Pinewood Derby, we had a little altercation in the car. Most of these usually occur around Ansel, and his temper, this one was not unique in that. I feel for the little guy, because he gets ignored by his older brothers when they are in the middle of play, and so he usually yells or strikes out to get their attention. (We are in constant improvement mode with this action!)

Anyway, in the car, Calder and Ansel were in the back - both talking to each other at the same time, trying to talk over one another. I call back, from the driver's seat "Quieter please, one at a time" There is a pause and Calder says "Uh, Ansel... I was -" SMACK! Ansel whacks him across the face! I tell Ansel, in no uncertain terms, that that is NOT okay. We don't hit our brothers, no matter what. I let him know that when we get home he is going straight to his room for a time out. He doesn't like this of course, and gets even more upset. "I didn't hit him, I was just patting him!", he says. "Ansel...yes, you did, I saw you" I say. "No you didn't" he says, "You can't see me". "Ansel...", I say warningly. (not mentioning the power of the rearview mirror.) "I didn't hit him!", he says.... and then precedes to throw his stuffed animal at me. It brushes past my face, glances off the windshield and onto my lap. (so much for trying to prove his innocence!!) Well, now he is in for it!! "Ansel!!" I say. Now, it is straight to bed when we get home, no passing GO, no collecting $200......BIG trouble. The keening starts..... *sob* "I didn't throw my toy at you, I was just passing it to you " (Levi and Calder's eyes are as round as saucers, watching the events unfold.) -sigh- .... "I am sorry Ansel, but it is not going to change... straight to bed when we get home"

It is a 10 minute ride home from the church (Joe stayed at the church for a EQ meeting), by the time we get home, everyone is silent, except Ansel, who is still whining and crying. It is 8:15pm, and really and truly bedtime (not that Ansel knows that, it is still light outside). As we get him ready for bed he is trying all the excuses he can think of..... "Mom, I get scared without people in my room".... "I will bring Kaelan in, in just a few minutes..." "NOOOO!!!" He wails.."I mean BIG people" "sorry, Ansel... Not gonna happen" He continues on his previous thread of conversation, ...I didn't hit him, I was just patting him... I didn't throw it at you, I was just passing it.... on and on and on. Finally, he is in his jammies, and I say "Ansel, I want you to try something for me" He looks at me curiously "When we say things that we know aren't true, it hurts us inside, and we won't feel better for a long time"... " I wan't you to say : 'Mom, I hit Calder, and I am sorry' and then tell me how you feel inside after. Just try it." He does, then smiles, and says "I feel good". YAY!

I talk to him about why he hit Calder, he says he wanted his attention. "What kind of attention did you want?.... Good or bad?" I ask. "Good!" he says emphatically. "How do we get good attention?" ... Pause... "I don't know" he admits.. "Oh," I say!! "So that's why you hit him... you didn't know that wouldn't give you good attention" He looks at me... I give him a few scenarios and ask which would give him good attention, he gets it right, and is much happier. Phew, we are past this episode (I know we will face it again, it's inevitable, but a step in the right direction, none the less).

Unfortunately, he still wanted someone with him in his room. (the kid just wanted one small victory of his own!) I told him when I came back to put Kaelan down, I would come and give him another kiss. He seemed mollified and I left. Not more than two minutes later, out he comes again.... more excuses on his tongue..... "MOOOOOMMM, I had a nightmare!" "Honey, you haven't even fallen asleep yet" "Yes, I have!" "Ansel..." "Well, I had a nightmare while I was awake.." "Haha" I chuckle "Ansel..." I give him a hug, "Get back in bed"............ "I can't!!!" He wails..... " I broke every bone in my body!!!" I laugh out loud, and poke him in the belly "You did not!" "I did..." he moans, gulping for air as if he were trying to control a gag (one of his more perfected skills of dramatization) Again, I chuckle.... "well, I broke 3.. no SIX bones in my body!" he says. I am silent.... "I can't sleep all alone!!", he cries (as if he didn't do it every night) -sigh- here we go again.... Time for me to give him his little victory. "Ansel" I say sternly. "Go get in MY bed, right now, and go to sleep" His eyes widen in surprise, he smiles and jounces off to my room and promptly falls asleep. Nobody tell him that he was still all alone, when he did!!